“Forget what should be remembered
and remember what should be forgotten”

Yale Clash Royale

by

Female Writer

Share:

After two agonizing second place finishes in the Clan War river races, The Panopticon finally pulled through with a victory on Week 3. It was an unexpected win against fan favorite clan Hudsonzada, who missed the finish by a mere 86 points. Member TrevorM was named the week’s MVP for pushing out the last few battles needed to cross the finish line (he did not know what clan battles were until that week). He stole the crown on Day 4 in an electrifying duel using an E-wiz, Lumberjack, and Nightwitch deck. This month’s previous losses are thought to be due to low morale, possibly explained by daylight savings time, seasonal depression, and climate change. “I fucking hate this game,” says clan member and devout golem-user MattyB, who scored 1600 points this week. Other members have complained about mental health issues affecting their performance potential. Still, hope remains. This week’s victory — a blinding beacon of success — along with clan member gl0rp meeting war eligibility requirements, bodes for a promising next war season. “This clan is the best thing to happen to me,” he said after the initiation ceremony. “Without The Panopticon, I would be nothing.” The Panopticon holds a ceremony for every clan member once they reach maturity. It is only after this ceremony — famous for its bloodletting, erotic deck-building, and succulents — that a man (or woman?) can fight for their clan. The Panopticon has a diverse member base, consisting of players from both UConn and Yale. “We believe it is this intrastate alliance that has led us to greatness,” says clan co-leader YaleBot. She runs a double prince deck, which was a staple piece in the meta 5 years ago.

Recommended

Orange Chicken

Devonte Montigo February 5, 2023 No Comments

Jeremy walks up to the Panda Express counter. The orange chicken glows like a beacon

Chat Gé-pé-teé

Ms. Terry February 5, 2023 No Comments

In a surprising shift from previous school policy, the Spanish department is now encouraging the

Subscribe and stay updated Qorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.

“Forget what should be remembered and remember what should be forgotten”

Copyright © 2023. All Rights Reserved.