Puerto Rico. Miami. Mexico. What do all of these places have in common, besides manatees? They are hotspots for overzealous, dehydrated Yale students on spring break. There is a 77% chance that you or someone you sat next to in the dining hall today went to one of these places. It seems like EVERYONE went somewhere for break.
But not me. Which makes me better than you. And here’s why.
While you were out gentrifying parts of the U.S. and abroad with your AirBnBs, I was singlehandedly upholding the suburbs of central Connecticut. Instead of relying on foreign goods, I bolstered our nation’s economy by eating the veggie nuggets that my mommy made for me. I saved the middle class.
And keep in mind, everyone, that traveling is NEVER ethical for us. Dare we, as Yale students, spread our elitism across the globe like a worldwide global pandemic in these unprecedented times? Covid reference. We should never go anywhere.
I’m not a hero. I’m just a Yalie using my privilege for what is right. And maybe, if you were considerate about other people and thought about anything for a single second, you would do the same.
A virtue of going home is that I can live free of the crushing guilt that comes with knowing I have colonized Florida. But that’s not all. Over break, my health flourished. I slept from dawn to dusk. I saw the sun maybe twice. I spent so much time with my pets that I myself have become an allergen.
But I didn’t do it for me. I did it for mankind. Let’s all take a lesson from my experience, and work as a community to do better.
Be a good person.
Don’t go to Florida.
