First name: Maximiliano
Last name: de Habsburgo
Phone number: (505) 842-5662
Select an occasion (optional): Birthday / Anniversary / Date Night / Business Meal / Celebration
Is there anything else you would like us to know about?
She took everything from me. The kids, the house; my favorite dog Buster. The only thing I am getting from my wife is this bill at olea, as I proceed to spend hundreds of dollars hoping for the slim chance that one of these girls who is fifteen years younger than me thinks “hey, I actually think it’s really attractive that you lost all of your money to your ex-wife.” I’m just a free meal for the city of New Haven. Your guys’ Bacalao dish is exquisite, but it is draining the last of my 401(k). That’s right, I’m unemployed and an alcoholic: what’s new this time of year.
According to the judge, I can only see my two beautiful kids on the weekends, right after I get shitfaced at your guys’ restaurant. I like to linger at the bar after my date leaves, chowing down on a deconstructed cannoli-misu, which consists of cocoa soil, mascarpone mousse, tía maría gelatin, ladyfingers powder, and coffee sauce. God I’m hungry right now…but I don’t get off of work until 7. Maybe I should change “Date Night” to “Anniversary,” because this is the first of many years where I will be wondering what I have to show for a decade of marriage. I am inevitably going to die alone and without a family, so thanks for asking, olea. You guys are dicks.
