Dear Bruce,
We on the Peabody board have heard some complaints recently regarding the Peabody’s much anticipated new initiative “Night at the Museum: Dinosaurs Come to Life”. One of your docents (who will henceforth be referred to as Mr. Anonymous for fear of backlash) confided in us his concerns that this initiative might pose a public safety threat. Specifically, he is worried that the dinosaurs in the museum are too temperamental and cannot be trusted to treat the guests nicely. According to a report from Mr. Anonymous, which is toned down here for its gruesome content, Jake the velociraptor might “disembowel the visitors, eviscerating all their organs and eating the human flesh like it’s a 16oz ribeye.” This is clearly not something which will endear the Peabody to the public. Please advise on this urgent matter, and for heaven’s sake teach the dinosaurs to comport themselves with decorum.
Yours truly,
Frederico Iglesias the XXVIth
Chairman of the The Peabody Museum Board and Chief Executive Officer at ConocoPhillips
